How resistance (contrast) shows up in actions

“I cannot know that this is not the next step in my liberation” Barbara Swetina, www.sacredsongs.net

What is resistance or contrast? When you are pushing against the flow. Like the difference between going upstream (resistance) and going downstream (in the flow). Resistance or contrast shows up when we have stepped into the flow, and it becomes an obstacle. It’s when you are interfering with things that are really not your job. See my article re Working up to the Line

Typical ‘bad’ habits and likely forms of resistance from which they come (check these out for yourself, your particular habit may come from a different form of resistance, or more than one)

Habit                                                                           Form of Resistance

Procrastination                                                               Lack of time mgt

Feeling overwhelmed

Not doing what you said you would do

within the agreed time limit

Arriving late for meetings and appointments

Thinking you have to do it all, and therefore

rarely if ever delegating

Regularly working late, to the detriment of

home life

Never or rarely having holidays or breaks

Answering the phone during mealtimes/breaks

Not knowing inc/expenditure                                            Lack of financial systems

Lack of regular book-keeping

Answering emails more than 3 times/day                       Lack of admin system

Focusing on activity, not looking at the results

as a measure of success

Untidy office                                                                           Lack of focus

Multi-tasking

Never completing anything

Not asking for help/feedback                                             Lack of focus on big picture

Forgetting someone’s name within                                   or lack of self-worth

minutes of being introduced

Making assumptions about your market                        Lack of strategic thinking

Ineffectual management of staff

Plugging ahead with action before stopping                   Lack of trust

to engage with your inner self first

Whatever you are currently doing more of will define your current level of results. So the more regular inspired action you take regarding marketing, the more results you’ll see.

Jack Canfield in The Success Principles says ‘Good or bad, habits always deliver results’.

So the choice is to develop good habits out of a context of acceptance and co-operation, or bad habits out of a context of resistance and struggle, or pushing against the flow. It’s a no-brainer isn’t it!

3 examples of resistance and how to change it

1. Working IN your business not ON it. NOW – you might not be someone who wants to grow your business particularly. And that’s fine. What’s important here is that this is a matter of conscious choice, and not by default because you don’t really know what’s going on.

Running your own business means, according to Michael Gerber, that you are actually 3 people in one (Technician, Manager and Entrepreneur). Identify who you are being in different aspects of your business, and aim to have a balance.

Entrepreneur = the visionary, the creative, the dreamer, where often other people are just problems that get in the way of his dream.

Manager – pragmatic. Creates systems, order, runs after Entrepreneur cleaning up the mess, but without the E. there would be no mess to clean up!

Technician – the doer. ‘if you want it done right, do it yourself’. Likes to be in control of the work flow. (thinking is unproductive unless its thinking about work that needs to be done). Nothing is more important than the TO DO list. Very often s/e people are great technicians. Typical small bus owner is 10% E, 20% M, and 70% T.

“While the E dreams, the M frets, and T ruminates!” Michael Gerber, The E-Myth Revisited.

“Without balance, without all 3 personalities being given the opp, the freedom and the nourishment they need to grow, your business can’t help but mirror its’ own lopsidedness.”

Most businesspeople are so busy working for their business or in their business that they never find time to work ON their business. Thus they fail to anticipate what might happen or what they might be able to make happen. Really important to schedule one day a quarter or better still, one day a month to look at where you are going. You can know where you are going, and be going in the right direction, but it’s important to keep one eye on the ground as well as one eye ahead of you so that you see what you are stepping in!

Enlarging the Heart of your Business visualization.

Different from your jewel, remember your jewel infiltrates everything you do in your life. This is just about your business and expanding it from the inside out. (see visualization and handout in Handbook)

2. Thinking you haven’t enough time

Why is this resistance? Because if you set up a time mgt system, or a structure for your day, but then still have the sense you are not getting everything done, then the system will not be working for you. People resist completing timesheets because they think it will mean they can’t do what they want to do.

Tip: difference between projects and tasks. A project is selling a new product or service. ‘Let’s offer a two day seminar on Time Management’ – get all excited about it, and then comes the tasks. If you only focus at the level of Project, you will easily get overwhelmed with all that has to be done. But if you take the ‘time’ to list the ‘tasks’ that have to be done, then you’ll easily have a sense of progressive achievement as you complete each task bit by bit.

Tip: Deadlines: Help you to focus, and combined with an attitude that you have enough time, then it becomes easier to complete your tasks. Experiment with these, play around with them and watch your thoughts and feelings.

The best way to experience that you don’t have enough time is to tell yourself you don’t have enough time! YOU WILL NEVER GET IT ALL DONE. It just doesn’t happen. Even if you get to the end of your TO DO list, there will be another one tomorrow. So trying to get it all done simply doesn’t work. What does work?

a) knowing how much your time is worth (work out exactly how to calculate it here)

b) committing yourself to prioritising (Read an inspiring article here about how to do it)

Put the figure of what you are worth up somewhere you can see it often, because if you find yourself doing work that someone else could do that means you are paying a lot of money for that work. You’re probably doing a lot of technical work that you could pay somebody else to do—just as well—for less money. If you discover that your hourly rate is less than you would like, then one of those figures in that calculation has to change.

3. Choosing motivated action over inspired action

Quote: Michael Gerber E-Myth Mastery:

“ Action is more than the physical doing of something. It’s first and foremost the mental doing of something…..if I start moving before I start dreaming, which is what I call thinking without a clear, identifiable purpose, I lose (my idea or inspiration) more often than not”

What is an inspired action? Joe Vitale of www.mrfire.com says ‘any action you take that is based on an inside nudge’.

Inspired action moves you towards what you want, not away from what you don’t want. Hence it often feels easy and effortless. Action taken out of yearning, fear, or worry will always feel more of a struggle.

Motivated action is the kind of action that comes with a sense of ‘pushing’. If you feel that is happening, better to stop pushing. Just like Joe Vitale, let it go, and trust that what you said you wanted will indeed come to you – just not perhaps in the way you thought it would.

But how do you tell the difference between just ‘doing nothing’ and ‘being inspired’? Many people think that the LOA means saying what you want, focusing on it in various ways, repeating mantras or affirmations over and over, and then sitting back with your arms folded while you watch everything you want coming to you. The problem with this is that the nudges you are being given from within are not being noticed, and therefore not being acted upon. And it is these inspirations that are crucial in success. So STOP. BE STILL. LISTEN. AND ONLY THEN ACT. This doesn’t mean that you don’t answer emails when you don’t feel like it. It means that you free yourself from the negative feelings associated with answering emails by stopping. You let yourself be still for a moment. You listen. Then you may find that inner nudge. And so then you act.

How to find yourself feeling inspired to act. Here’s a good article:

http://www.stevepavlina.com/blog/2007/12/how-to-take-action-consistently/

Inspired Actions this week

1. Calculate your hourly rate, pin it up and see how it works for you

2. Stop. Be still. Listen. Act when you feel inspired to act. Commit to doing inspired action tomorrow and see what happens.

3. Take the baby step that you saw from your enlarged heart to bring you nearer your goal

Your attitude and beliefs about money and wealth aren’t just a factor in the amount of money you have — they are the deciding factor. Chris Cardell, marketing guru

5 myths made re pricing

Myth 1: Discounting makes you more attractive – it may do to some people, but take a look at how you decide to choose a service. If you’re looking for an intangible service, which is what we are all providing, what are the most important things for you?

-       Do you want someone who charges what everyone else charges?

-       Do you search for someone on the basis of how much you are willing to pay per hour?

-       Is it how much you can afford to pay, in that you think, I’ll look for someone charging this much or less?

-       Or do you is it that you are willing to pay for the service dependent on the value you will receive?

You usually base your decision on a whole lot of different factors, all concerned with the value to you.  Eg you may only be willing to visit a hairdresser/therapist who is in your home town because of travelling time.  So discounting is not necessarily a good idea.

Instead of discounting, consider offering more for the same price,  something that doesn’t take up any more of your time.  (eg e-book, CD, create a group). Then if someone really can’t afford you, they can have the other things at the lesser price (group, or e-book).

Myth 2: It’s all about the content of your service

Your value to a client is more than just what you know. Although your knowledge is an important component of the overall value you provide, just as important as your knowledge is how you give your service. You could give away all your content, but you can’t give away ‘YOU’. That’s why people will pay – because although there may be other people out there doing apparently the same thing as you, they are not you, and people are paying for YOU, and your particular way of doing things.

Myth 3: Charges should be by the hour

Why? Because everyone else does it?  Consciously choose what you want to do:  eg give packages which specify what you get for a certain price. Advantages of packaging:

a)     People can see exactly what they are getting

b)    the work you do is more than just the time you spend with your client, so you can build this in

c)     Gives the opportunity for different price points.  Eg massage/reflexology/Indian head massage therapist.  Could offer the following packages:

Easy Does It = 4 sessions over 4 weeks; includes ‚  self-massage tips sheet

Go with the Flow = 8 sessions; self-massage tips sheet; 1 s/h techs; 1 1/2 hr reflexology taster w. yr colleague

Going for Gold = 12 sessions; self-massage tips sheet; 3 s/h techs; 1/2 hr reflex taster; 1 extra hrs session of your choice.  Payment in advance – or get most of it upfront, ie pay total within first 2/3 months.

You accommodate people with different budgets and different needs this way.

Also you can bundle together some of your services eg with products, throw in extra ones rather than discounting prices. Really think about this – how can you offer better value for money to your clients without it taking up any more of your time?  Might initially take up time but after that it’s just a benefit.

Myth 4. It’s all about providing the client with a great service.

You can’t serve others well without serving yourself first.  Align yourself first with your thoughts and feelings, get into a feeling-good place, then step into your business vision, and allow the energy of Spirit to help shape your business, to inspire you, to pull your ideal clients towards you.  This way you will be serving without being drained.

“Once you feel taken care of, it’s much easier to turn your full attention to those you serve”

Myth 5: Determine your value and then set your price.

Better to turn this on it’s head – get clear about the money you want to charge, and then provide the value.

Think along the lines of ‘I want to attract the ideal clients, who when they invest with me will be really delighted to make that investment, and they’ll receive the value they get, want to celebrate it and share it with others, and want more!’

It is all about how you are perceived and how you perceive yourself.

When someone objects to your price, what they are really saying is, ‘You haven’t convinced me that I will receive value equal to, or greater than, the amount you are charging.’ So price objections are really VALUE objections, and they can be avoided when you take the time to establish — in advance of revealing your price — the value that your product or service represents to the buyer. You need to establish this value so completely, and demonstrate such a large and compelling return on their investment, that it is practically impossible for the prospect to say no, regardless of price. B. Doyle, www.clientmagnets.com

How to determine your value:

Ex:  Stand in your clients’s shoes.  How important is it to them to have their problem solved, or their needs met? Learn to understand the value you are giving and then be able to speak about it very well.

Home Inspired Action: Think of 3 of the clients you have impacted the most in your business.  Step into their shoes.  Write a testimonial from them to yourself.  Be very specific if you can, and put numbers and figures on it.  For instance, if you treated someone for a bad back, who previously had been unable to work, then if they went back to work, it was your service that at the very least made a huge contribution to their lives.  Or if you helped someone with a fear of flying, and then they were able to make a plane trip to see their long lost relative for the first time in 20 years, then that is specific!

Ex:  Answer the question:  How can I expand the perceived value of my service for my client? Really think about how you can use the points in this class to affect how you price your services, and what you can do to increase the value you are giving.  Brainstorming with friends who also have businesses is a great idea, as its often easier to see solutions for someone else than for your own situation.

Addressing limiting beliefs you have about pricing:

Common beliefs that get in the way of setting your prices at a level that feels good to you and brings in enough revenue.

Beliefs:

1. I love what I’m doing, therefore I shouldn’t be concerned about the money side of things. (Earning a healthy income and providing a valuable service are not mutually exclusive – unless you think they are’.  Most people recognise that you are earning a living and can respect that).

2. My clients can’t afford higher fees  (do you really, truly know that?  Be careful of that assumption)

3.  Too much competition – I have to keep my prices low to get clients at all  or I can’t charge more than others in my field!  That would be competition and I don’t like competition.  (Start to think with an abundance mindset – there is plenty of room for everyone and anyway no-one else offer exactly what you offer.)

4.  I don’t think I’m skilled enough to charge more. (Really?  Will the day ever come when you feel skilled enough?  Start telling the truth – you’re afraid.)

The real value of what you offer is determined by the benefits your client receives from your service – and in some cases, that is so valuable, you can’t put a price on it.  So it becomes important to firstly believe you have a valuable service, and then learn to put that across effectively.

What to do? Work with letting go of these beliefs/feelings and practice enhancing your own self-worth, so that you can easily say I am a really great therapist, and my fees are  x.

NB: YOUR PRICE MUST RESONATE WITH YOU! if there is any energetic mismatch then it will be picked up by your clients. Better to change them in stages, so that as you feel comfortable with each level, you are simply moving more and more congruently towards a price that feels just right.  Then review it every year at least, and put them up by at the very minimum the rate of inflation.  But consider also every year what you can do to increase your value even further.

How to put prices up:

a)     get comfortable with what you want to charge first

b)    give warning to existing clients as to when they will go up

c)     start charging new clients immediately

When things take time to come into this reality it is often because there are unconscious fears battling against what you say you are wanting.  This internal conflict creates a cancelling out effect, making it much harder for the thing you want be drawn to you. For example, if you want more business to come in, but you’re ambivalent about it because you know that will mean you have to travel more, and you don’t want to leave your family any more than you absolutely have to.  It’s easy to see that this causes a kind of push me– pull you type of effect. Use this short visualisation to help shine the light on the unconscious fears and limiting beliefs that might be getting in your way.

Recording time:  6 minutes

Inside Out Goal Setting is the topic of this class.

Or you could also say it is about why a lot of goal setting fails!

For the Class Notes and Inspired Actions please click here

To find out more about the RichThinking Way and how it works, and how to join, click here.

NOTES & INSPIRED ACTIONS

Useful quotes

All that we are is the result of what we have thought. If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him. Buddha

Whatever the mind of man can conceive and believe, it can achieve. From Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill

It doesn’t matter how long we’ve had a negative pattern, or an illness, or a poor relationship or lack of finances, or self-hatred. We can begin to make a shift today – your problem no longer needs to be the truth for you. Remember you are the only person who thinks in your mind. You are the power and authority in your world. Louise Hay, You Can Heal Your Life

What is a belief?

A belief is a repeated thought that has become a set pattern. But it is still just a thought and as Louise Hay says, it’s only a thought and a thought can be changed. Sometimes takes time, but not always.

A belief is a thought or series of thoughts we hold and deeply trust about something. Usually without realizing it. We seldom question beliefs; we hold them to be truths, as they are so familiar we think that is the way the world is.

“If we want a joyous life, we must think joyous thoughts. If we want a prosperous life, we must think prosperous thoughts, If we want a loving life, we must think loving thoughts.” Louise Hay, You Can Heal Your Life

2 Parts to Affirmations

1. Use them to uncover the negative thoughts you do have, so you can air them and let them go; unearthing beliefs that are getting in the way of you getting what you want.

2. when you’ve let go of all the negatives, objections, justifications etc you get to state the affirmation as if it were true right now – this is the LOA in practice. You don’t have your thoughts in the way so much (or if you do, you can let go of them), and so you are free to focus simply on the good feelings associated with that aff. Now using them as energy medicine where you are matching up your thoughts and feelings.

A common difficulty with affirmations is that a mismatch between the new thought being said and the emotion being expressed while it is being said.

Affirmations and LOA

It is the feelings that are the point of attraction within the LOA. When you shift your thoughts, you shift your vibrations, and vice versa. It is too easy to say an affirmation such as I have plenty of new clients over and over and at the same time be vibrationally in a place of lack, for instance, if you don’t feel good while you’re saying that affirmation, or you’re actually remembering you’ve only got one client at the moment, then you’re cancelling out the work you’re doing. Now you may not believe that affirmation in the moment, but you can be working towards that becoming a belief, AND feeling good about that process. Or you can be criticising yourself for taking so long, or worrying about money, or berating yourself for not having charged more, or whatever. So what’s impt is work with the aff which you can feel good about. How do you do this? Step by step.

View Step by Step Rich Thoughts on the website (click here)

“Take the first step in faith. You don’t have to see the whole staircase. Just take the first step’. Martin Luther King

Exercise: Attitudes to success.

Note what your response is to the statements below. Notice any thoughts you have in response, and any feelings in your body. Useful to do this exercise regularly, say every three months, to check out how you are progressing.

I’m an excellent therapist, practitioner, consultant

I run a really successful business

Exercise: Success Seat Vision

Be clear about what you want for your business success.

Move into another seat, if possible do it physically right now. If not, just do it in your imagination.

This is your Success Seat. As you sit in this seat, you are the owner of a successful and very satisfying business.

Now notice what that means:

• Where are you? How does it feel to be where you are? What are you doing? What can you see around you? If you’re in an office, what’s on the walls?
• How does it feel to be sitting there? What can you hear?
• Who are you working with? What kind of clients do you have? What is your income? How does it feel having that in your bank account? What profit are you making?

Really let yourself feel what this place of success is like – what can you hear, how do you feel, what can you see, what are you touching? Become very familiar with this place, because this is the place where you belong. This is who you truly are in your business, This is you being successful, right now. Inhabit this right now, make this place your friend.

Exercise: Monitoring

What you measure you can manage. Peter Drucker, (author of management books).

Monitoring results brings confidence. View an example below plus a blank record  sheet for you to print out and fill in.

Inner Actions and Outer Results example

Inner Actions and Outer Results Record

Message from Louise Hay about the Abraham-Hicks books:

I continually study to learn more and there’s a teacher that’s very influential in my life right now: Abraham. Esther and Jerry Hicks have countless tapes of Abraham’s words, which you can find at their Abraham-Hicks Web site. You can also get their book, Ask and It Is Given by Hay House. The main message is how to live your life in joy. The goal is to feel good about yourself all the time. I think of Abraham as an advanced course of Louise Hay. I listen to their tapes almost everyday and their book is beside my bed for late night reading. Many of your favorite teachers are also students of Abraham. I think of Abraham as the teacher of teachers.