RT Way Sept 2010 Week 3 Notes

The benefits of doubt, resistance and contrast

NOTES & INSPIRED ACTIONS

When you think good thoughts, you feel good, when you think bad ones, you feel bad. Abraham in Ask and It is Given says: only 2 emotions, those that feel good, and those that feel bad. Being alive is meant to be about feeling good, in touch, engaged with Life itself.

But what happens when you keep thinking negative thoughts and feeling bad?

When you start out with good intentions and then get lost?

When you fall by the wayside, life having got in the way?

When you begin to doubt what is going on?

When you just get stuck in a gloomy downward spiral of thoughts and feelings?

Doubt/Contrast/Resistance

Louise Hay speaks of treating doubt as your friend, and going ahead anyway

“Observe yourself, watch how you resist, and then go ahead anyway”.

Why? Because what you resist persists. So if you don’t welcome the opposite into your life, then in the very act of pushing it away, you make it stronger.

Quote from Stephen Levine in A Year to Live: P 22

“It takes confidence to observe doubt without thinking we have to do something about it, trusting its natural impermanence to carry it away so long as we don’t pull back from it or compulsively react. It is important to be come familiar with doubt sufficiently to be able to turn toward it instead of away”.

Abraham speaks of contrast. In the same way, he states that contrast is a good thing, not a bad one. If you have contrasting feelings to the ones you want, then it is like a red flag waving, pointing out you are going the wrong way. So when you notice you are thinking something that makes you feel bad, you are focusing on something you don’t want. Then you have the opportunity to switch, and focus your thoughts instead on something you don’t want.

How do you know resistant thoughts are happening?

Some examples under the headings of thoughts, feelings and actions.

Thoughts/Beliefs:

I don’t deserve it

I can’t have what I want

I’ll never get my business as successful as hers

It’s not OK to be spiritual and wealthy

I never have enough time

Be. V. Honest

(even if you think you feel good when you are being negative about someone). Wondering how to achieve what you want. Having ‘what if-itis’. Judgements of yourself or others (including thinking you are better than).

Feelings

Any feeling that doesn’t make you feel good. So anything less than contentment.

Boredom

Irritation

Impatience

Helplessness.

See The Feelings Vocabulary on my website.

http://www.richthinkers.co.uk/feelings-vocab/

Actions

Missing appointments

Changing the subject

Procrastinating

Addictive behaviours

Pretending you’re OK when you’re not

Watching terrible TV programmes

Continuing to ‘do’ when you are already physically tired.

Great article: Why Being a Slacker is Critical for Business Success

ALL THESE THINGS ARE GETTING IN THE WAY OF THE FLOW.

Inviting your unconscious to present you with what is hidden.

2 exercises for inviting things up from the unconscious:

1. ‘I should .…..’ exercise. See Handbook.

2. Embracing the whole of your goal. Click here to listen to this exercise.

Imagine yourself with your business being really successful. Or the goal you chose to look at in the first class. Really imagine it, bring it to life. Now also include the ‘side effects’ having this happen will mean. How does it affect your health, marriage, partnership, relationships, family, eating habits, spending habits, taxes, spiritual life, living situation, where you live? How does this huge change that you have made create a tidal wave of other changes? Where do you actually end up?

Don’t make more or less of these side effects. Just see them as realistically as you can. Admit what these side effects might be, bring them to your conscious mind, shine the light so they can begin to wither and die away.

“If you want your intentions to manifest, then you need to understand that they’re a package deal. You have to accept and intend the whole package, not just the convenient parts.” Steve Pavlina, www.stevepavlina.com

Both your fears and your desires exist only within your consciousness at this point, not in the physical world, so the entire conflict is an internal one. But a lack of internal congruency is all it takes to kill your best intentions.

What to do when you have identified a fear?

a) Notice what you’re thinking by catching the thought, and taking a moment to…

b) acknowledge it (I’m (emotive word) of ….say it out loud)

c) accept it as it is (use affirmation: I willingly accept that this…. is one of my fears)

d) choose to see the positive side of it (not the negative, not even just neutral, but actively to see the positive things in it)

e) make a choice to move forward (in your thoughts, feelings and behaviour)

“You’ll achieve your goals if you observe your present reality with a positive momentum in the direction of your goals. But if you set a goal and observe your present situation with a negative or neutral bias, then your goals have no power to induce change.” Steve Pavlina

How do you choose to see the positive?

a) lessen the pressure on yourself.

You are thinking about what you want and imagining that something undesirable is going to happen. That undesirable thing is one of the consequences of your fear; as Steve Pavlina says, if you accept the previously undesirable thing, the outcome changes.

Example: You want more clients – imagine how that will be, there will be more money, you’ll have more opportunity to affect more people positively, you’ll get better known, you’ll feel good about yourself, plus all sorts of other feelings. But also you recognize that if you take on more clients you won’t be able to do so much of your art work; and that your partner might complain he never sees you; and that your best friend will almost certainly be jealous and so you’ll have difficulties in the relationship.

If you can accept that you will do less of your art work, or that you define particular moments in your week which you commit to that; that you can re-arrange things so that you can still see enough of your partner; that your best friend and you have known each other long enough to be able to talk this through, and anyway even if you fall out you will allow that to happen – then you have taken a lot of pressure off yourself. You have lessened the fears, and accepted the total package of what you say it is you want.

b) Choosing positive statements.

Example: I want 20 more clients per month but I’m afraid I will run out of energy and my health problems will come back

Positive side: I can monitor my health very carefully and take corrective action when I notice I’m feeling drained. I could put my prices up and see less clients for the same income. I can trust that the work I have done previously re my health will stand me in good stead and mean I can manage a bigger workload easily. I could afford to take on an assistant to help with the admin side. I could even find someone who wanted to do a trade. I will be able to get a weekly health treatment for myself.

‘In the moment’ methods for when you are judging anything or anyone, including yourself:

1) Use contrast to let go

Ask yourself: would I rather be right, or would I rather be happy? Drop the issue

2) Identify your position and get off it. You are on a position. You can step off it. Do it literally.

3) I should exercise (as above)

Longer exploration methods:

4) http://www.recreateyourlife.com/free/ Morty Lefkoe’s video on letting go of beliefs.

5) Embracing the whole of your goal exercise (leading to stating pos.statements)

6) Veering towards the light (for full transcript see in your Handbook)

Out of this situation only good will come. I see this situation resolved for the highest purposes of all concerned. All is well and I am safe. (Louise Hay)

Pivoting: (Abraham – Ask and It is Given)

“ To consciously change the direction of one’s thought. To deliberately choose a thought that is in vibrational harmony with one’s desire”

Thoughts happen so fast that its not always easy to realise what we’re thinking. But you can tell by how you are feeling. So use your feelings to find out what you’re thinking.

If you’re so far down the path that you’re really entrenched in the mud of negativity and feeling bad, then pivoting will be difficult. You have to get yourself out of the mud first. Do this by moving to another location and actively doing something you love doing. Have a nap, watch a funny film, take some exercise – distract yourself so that you begin to feel better without even realising it. Then, when you notice just the first point where you are feeling not so good (ie thinking something negative again), that’s when you pivot.

‘Feeling a sense of relief is a clear sign of successful pivot’.

Pivoting is the same as veering — see Veering Towards the Light visualisation in the Handbook

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It’s not your past that causes you pain – it’s how you think about it that causes the pain. And usually when you think about it you are in a place where you are cut off and separate from Source. That is the real pain and it’s that which is intolerable. All thoughts then are to be directed towards you feeling good again, as that is what it feels like usually when you are connected with your Source once more. Or within a difficult situation, you will still be able to be in a place of inner connection and peace.