- letting go of struggle and effort
It’s very common to see business people, especially these days, putting in the hours, working hard and generally not enjoying themselves very much. Especially if you have a belief that good things only come to those who work hard, then that’s the
experience you’ll have.
If you knew there was an easier way to get what you wanted, wouldn’t you want to know? Well, there is. But first of all it’s important to understand why you stand in your own way of getting what you want.
Firstly, it’s because you’re taught to do exactly that. It doesn’t look like that – what it looks like is being told this is the way it is; you have to work long and hard to make it in the world; you mustn’t get above your station; riches are not for you – any number of beliefs. If you come from a background where there was anything less than spectacular encouragement for you to be, do or have anything you wanted, then you will be standing in your own way at some level.
So you stand in our own way because you’ve learnt to. And just like you learnt to, you can unlearn to. And you do that by turning your heads and swivelling round to focus on something apparently completely different.
Instead of focusing on what you think you want, you focus instead on being the feeling you think the thing you want will bring you.
Let’s unpack that a bit with an example. Let’s say you want to grow your business, having 10 more clients. Normally, everyone would probably encourage you to spend more money on advertising and marketing your product or service, so that these ten clients will be attracted to you.
You might think of doing an extra mailshot or two; or networking even more – whatever it is, it is likely to take up more of your time. If you’re already working long hours, then this is not going to be appealing at all. But this is what you have to do to get more clients, isn’t it?
No. Because it only may, or may not, bring results. And even if it does bring the results, ie ten more clients and the resulting increase in income, it will also likely bring more hours of work, more costs, and even possibly more hassle. And you weren’t even sure that your efforts would pay off in the first place! Seems to me to be quite a gamble.
Getting out of your own way and creating what you want from the inside out means you start to focus on something else entirely. Think of the feeling you will have when you have the ten clients. What might that be? Satisfaction, secure, proud, more confident, busy, happy, fulfilled – whatever comes to mind, you name it.
You’ll also notice that one (or possibly two) of these feelings will ring true more than the others. This is the essence of what you say you want. This is what is behind you being in your own way.
Test it out now – if you already had that feeling, let’s say it’s confidence, even without the ten clients, you’d be at least half way there, wouldn’t you?
Sounds simple, doesn’t it? And it is. But it’s not quite so easy to put into practice, because practice is the third part of the process involved in getting out of your own way.
Practice feeling the feeling you say you want, as if it were already happening right now.
So you get to feel confident, by invoking those feelings in you, on a daily basis. And you do this by imagining, daily, that you already have what you said you wanted, ie the ten clients, and the feeling that this brings.
Because you have turned upside down the common belief of HAVE, DO, BE (ie get the thing you want, then you can do what you want to do, and be the way you want to be – and it’s a belief that is running Western society, if not the world), then you are already BE-ing what you want, and this then provides you with the inspiration to DO some actions that are in line with what you say you are wanting. And finally, these actions are more than likely to end up in you HAV-ing the actual thing you said you wanted in it’s practical form, ie the ten clients.
Now, when this happens, what really is amazing is that often you find you don’t really want ten clients any more. Perhaps 5 is just fine. Or 15. This is because you have already got what you really, deep down, truly wanted, which (in this example) was more confidence.
And when you have what you really wanted all the time, what you previously couldn’t see because you were getting in your own way, why would you want anything else? This doesn’t mean to say you don’t have to have your ten clients but that if you do still want them, they then become a bonus on top of everything else.