You wake up and it’s dark. Intuitively you know it’s some ungodly hour like 3.30am or something. You’re not supposed to be awake, you’re supposed to be sleeping, just like your partner who is out cold beside you. How irritating! Somewhere inside you groan, as your mind starts to whirr about your concerns. Now you’re really awake and going over and over in your mind the problem and imagining all sorts of worst case scenarios. How come it’s always in the middle of the night that you feel the worst? How come in the daytime, it all seems to be more manageable? Even that thought, that it’ll all be OK in the morning isn’t very consoling now, as your mind takes you to the only end you can imagine, the worst fear possible.
OK, I know this situation well. Some years ago, when I was in a very difficult time in my life with a seriously ill husband, a business that was falling apart due to difficulties with partnership issues, so lawyers to deal with on top of everything, I had a particularly long period of nights like this. Almost every night, in fact, I would wake around about 4am, and worry. Worry, worry, worry. Not wondering; not wishing; not wanting everything to be different – although I did! Just plain old worry. Going over the same situation again and again; and fretting about what the outcome might be.
I never wanted to get out of bed – too cold, and it felt like admitting defeat. However, I did in the end usually get fed up with lying there wide awake, trying not to make too much noise, and so I’d resign myself to getting up, going downstairs and making some herbal tea and occasionally a little something to eat. Then I’d traipse back upstairs again, this time to the spare bedroom. At this point I’d get out my copy of the I Ching (a Chinese book of divination and guidance), and give myself a reading. It usually calmed me down enough to go back to sleep. After a couple of weeks of early hour waking more often than not, I began to become an expert at this. In fact, such an expert that although I never mastered being happy that I’d woken up, I just accepted it, got up and went through my routine until I went to sleep again in the other room. Missing out on a couple of hours sleep a night didn’t seem to be causing too many problems!
After about 6 months, various things changed in my life to lessen the worries, and I got back to a normal, healthy sleeping pattern. I’ve never woken up so often since. And now, even when I do wake up and worry, I know what to do. I’m still resistant about getting out of bed but I do; I don’t always use the I Ching. However, I do always find a way to calm my mind down by using some form of inner listening. I’ve used other forms of divination; meditation; channeling; prayer. The combination of moving to another place, meeting physical needs in terms of food and drink, and addressing the spiritual side of my life is what seems to work. Anything that helps me to come back to my inner place of peace – because that’s really only all worry is – a departure from that place.
I have used the principles I write about here in RichThinkers to bring about all kinds of things in my life, including running a successful counselling practice and health clinic business. Coming from a place of inspiration has enabled me to bring meaning and magic into all that I do, and my background in psychotherapy and counselling, combined with practical business skills, means I am uniquely positioned to help you in both the inner and the outer levels of success. (more…)
Middle of the night worries and what to do about them
You wake up and it’s dark. Intuitively you know it’s some ungodly hour like 3.30am or something. You’re not supposed to be awake, you’re supposed to be sleeping, just like your partner who is out cold beside you. How irritating! Somewhere inside you groan, as your mind starts to whirr about your concerns. Now you’re really awake and going over and over in your mind the problem and imagining all sorts of worst case scenarios. How come it’s always in the middle of the night that you feel the worst? How come in the daytime, it all seems to be more manageable? Even that thought, that it’ll all be OK in the morning isn’t very consoling now, as your mind takes you to the only end you can imagine, the worst fear possible.
OK, I know this situation well. Some years ago, when I was in a very difficult time in my life with a seriously ill husband, a business that was falling apart due to difficulties with partnership issues, so lawyers to deal with on top of everything, I had a particularly long period of nights like this. Almost every night, in fact, I would wake around about 4am, and worry. Worry, worry, worry. Not wondering; not wishing; not wanting everything to be different – although I did! Just plain old worry. Going over the same situation again and again; and fretting about what the outcome might be.
I never wanted to get out of bed – too cold, and it felt like admitting defeat. However, I did in the end usually get fed up with lying there wide awake, trying not to make too much noise, and so I’d resign myself to getting up, going downstairs and making some herbal tea and occasionally a little something to eat. Then I’d traipse back upstairs again, this time to the spare bedroom. At this point I’d get out my copy of the I Ching (a Chinese book of divination and guidance), and give myself a reading. It usually calmed me down enough to go back to sleep. After a couple of weeks of early hour waking more often than not, I began to become an expert at this. In fact, such an expert that although I never mastered being happy that I’d woken up, I just accepted it, got up and went through my routine until I went to sleep again in the other room. Missing out on a couple of hours sleep a night didn’t seem to be causing too many problems!
After about 6 months, various things changed in my life to lessen the worries, and I got back to a normal, healthy sleeping pattern. I’ve never woken up so often since. And now, even when I do wake up and worry, I know what to do. I’m still resistant about getting out of bed but I do; I don’t always use the I Ching. However, I do always find a way to calm my mind down by using some form of inner listening. I’ve used other forms of divination; meditation; channeling; prayer. The combination of moving to another place, meeting physical needs in terms of food and drink, and addressing the spiritual side of my life is what seems to work. Anything that helps me to come back to my inner place of peace – because that’s really only all worry is – a departure from that place.