A positive affirmation is a statement made in a positive way as if it were true; some swear by them, but recently I’ve noticed there’s a lot of people around who are a bit disillusioned with them. They were very popular a while back, with people stating them left right and centre, and for some, their circumstances improved, but for an awful lot of other people, not much happened. The conclusion then became either, a) affirmations don’t work and it’s all a load of rubbish, or b) I’m even more hopeless than I thought, as I can’t even make affirmations work. Needless to say, neither of these is very helpful.
Nowadays, there are others saying that affirmations only work when you say them with feeling, and lots of that feeling. While there’s definitely truth in this, and how you feel is indeed crucial, I think one of the more subtle points of affirmations has been missed. This is that they are a way to uncover beliefs you have about yourself. For instance, let’s say you know you want to improve your relationship with money. You’ve already identified that you think things like ‘Rich people are awful’, and you want to change that belief. So you come up with an affirmation that turns that statement on it’s head, maybe something like ‘Rich people are full of good’. Then you start to use the affirmation by writing it down 10 times along with whatever response you have to it (one of the common ways of using affirmations). The real value of this exercise is in the nature of the responses. For instance, you might have written:
| Affirmation | Response |
|---|---|
| Rich people are full of good | That’s a load of rubbish |
| Rich people are full of good | That’s so not true |
| Rich people are full of good | Huh! |
| Rich people are full of good | Well they certainly aren’t full of it |
| Rich people are full of good | No, it’s not true. They are not FULL of good |
| Rich people are full of good | They might have some good in them |
| Rich people are full of good | I won’t subscribe to this |
| Rich people are full of good | I could say though that SOME might have SOME good in them |
| Rich people are full of good | I suppose it’s true to say that many give a lot of money to worthy causes. |
| Rich people are full of good | Well, I could say that rich people have some good in them. |
You see what I mean? In this example, this person has started the process of an internal dialogue; opened themselves up to considering other options. For instance, some rich people may be awful; but then so are some poor people. The real truth of the matter is that rich people have some good in them – just like you or me really. Doesn’t mean to say they don’t have some negative stuff in them too – again just like you or me. This to me is one of the hidden values of affirmations – to provoke you into questioning any entrenched position taken in regards to your beliefs.
If you use affirmative statements in this way, you take the pressure off trying to believe in them. You use them instead as another tool to help explore your subconscious – and in the process come to believe a statement that is more open, honest and supportive of who you are. And that will definitely make you feel good, which is what this is all about really!
I have used the principles I write about here in RichThinkers to bring about all kinds of things in my life, including running a successful counselling practice and health clinic business. Coming from a place of inspiration has enabled me to bring meaning and magic into all that I do, and my background in psychotherapy and counselling, combined with practical business skills, means I am uniquely positioned to help you in both the inner and the outer levels of success. (
8 Comments
Yes, Jane, I like how you say that takes the pressure off believing them this way. I found it interesting when I trained in EFT, why possibly Affirmations don’t work for everyone, and it seems that if we’re trying to convince ourselves, eg, that we’re not in pain, but the reality is we are, we need first to change the ‘wiring’ that is set up causing us to feel the pain, so energy therapies like EFT, Acupuncture, etc. can work really well alongside affirmations. I may not be explaining it too well, but it made perfect sense to me at the time! (‘wordswordswords.….’:-) S
You’re explaining it beautifully — I love the idea of changing the ‘wiring’ first; taking that analogy further, you can keep adding on to the electrical system in a house, but if the fusebox is still from the dark ages, it’ll eventually have to be replaced.
Ok. So I’ll try that out.
Affirmation: I love life
Response: Oh yeah. Then why do I complain so much?
A: I love life
R: At least I notice that I complain when I am doing it
A: I love life
R: It is brilliant when I am in that place and feel really connected.
A: I love life
R: I would like to be in that place more often.
A: I love life
R: What is it that makes me angry then?
A: I love life
R: I don’t like being angry
A: I love life
R: Anger is a part of my life.
A: I love life
R: I wonder what would happen if I loved my anger?
A: I love life
R: I can love the fact that I acknowledge my anger and know that it is there as contrast.
A: I love life
R: I can welcome anger and other feelings more openly as a part of loving life and myself.
Ok, I like that. Just that little experimenting with one affirmation surprised me. I had no idea what would come up and it feels good and I feel that I am more ready to embrace anger and other feelings with love.
Thanks Jane
Great example Simon, thanks for trying it out here so everyone can see it. I might even use this in another article, if I may!
I have done this before on a course, here we were encouraged to write an affirmation 21 times for 7 consecutive days and comment on it each time.
I found I got really angry about day 2 or 3 and by day 7 I felt really positive and enthusiastic, I certainly learned a lot about myself and my attitudes, thank you for reminding me. I will get my paper out, start writing and see what comes up.
Thanks Mary — I haven’t heard that particular suggestion before. Usually I say to people to write it out 10 times in the morning and evening for 5 days, and then negotiate with yourself another 5 days, and so on, until you reach 30 days. Secret: I have never managed to reach 30 days without doing it this way! Is that because 30 days (or even maybe 21) feels like too much in one go? Don’t know, but it led me to finding a way to do this exercise, step by step. One thing — there’s no doubt that you find your thoughts and feelings changing as you affirm — and that’s the whole point of the exercise!
Jane — thanks for a lovely new perspective on working with affirmations. As one of those folks who have begun to shy away from their use (especially if they’re something inside that’s resisting the desired change), this discussion offers some new ideas for how to “keep the baby while tossing the bathwater”
A way to step into a fully embodied response to how the affirmation sits within our body-mind-spirit could be to literally step/march into it.…..i.e., saying the affirmation out loud while walking (or even stomping if it’s a particularly challenging affirmation that our insides are fighting). With each step, say the next word. Repeat the process. Notice how it feels inside your body-mind-spirit as you move forward. Don’t force anything, just notice.
And, to step that up another notch, each time you repeat the affirmation, place an emphasis on a different word in the affirmation. Notice the shift in bodily feel as you do that. No judgments on whatever comes.….simply notice and acknowledge.
Lovely Mary — I’d forgotten that this is something I’ve done in the past too, and it can really enhance the power of the affirmation. Thank you!